running with scissors

I have two guns for lighting my cigarettes. One is double barrelled on is a six-shooter, I wanna call it a "revolver" but it doesn't revolve, it's a shame but you can't expect that much for $4.95.
I have a short attention span, no, I don't actually. But I crave constant stimuli or I get those blues from the phalanx of black dogs that trail me. They sometimes drop back and corners cause me to think I've shaken them from my trail, but then they start to catch up again and I'm struggling to keep abreast of their fog of, like they say; "the wailin' an' the gnashin' othateeth".
I'm running, but I feel like the wind s bin knocked outta me an i'm gaspin for a chestfulla air to get me just beyond their reach, just overthe next ledge, but tryin to keep my wits about me cos I can't risk fallin over any edge.
That'd be it, they'd all be upon me then and I'd succumb.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Would, that it were that simple. I have that ripped apart feeling again, weighty, weighted, waiting.Useless ugly waste. I'm on fire, I'm on fire, me too, Me Too.
Guns yo, I keep one in my pillow case...

Confusion in her eyes that says it all.
She's lost control.
And she's clinging to the nearest passer by,
She's lost control.
And she gave away the secrets of her past,
And said I've lost control again,
And a voice that told her when and where to act,
She said I've lost control again.

And she turned to me and took me by the hand and said,
I've lost control again.
And how I'll never know just why or understand,
She said I've lost control again.
And she screamed out kicking on her side and said,
I've lost control again.
And seized up on the floor, I thought she'd die.
She said I've lost control again.
She's lost control again.
She's lost control.
She's lost control again.
She's lost control.

Well I had to 'phone her friend to state her case,
And say she's lost control again.
And she showed up all the errors and mistakes,
And said I've lost control again.
But she expressed herself in many different ways,
Until she lost control again.
And walked upon the edge of no escape,
And laughed I've lost control again.
She's lost control again.
She's lost control.
She's lost control again.
She's lost control.

I could live a little better with permissible lies,
When the darkness broke in, I just broke down and cried.
I could live a little in a wider line,
When the change is done, when the dare is gone,
To lose control. When the dare is gone...



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The specific expression of a text message

All text is sic...




You in the hills
taday?

Sender:
Sarah Spaz
************
Sent:
09:58:58
09-11-2007


No. I'm not well, so
I'm not able.
Almost outta cred.

Recipient:
Sarah Spaz
************

Sent:
11:50:43
09-11-2007



Cool.wishes 2 ur
feeling crap.Am
feelin it's gettin 2 b
time.let me know
when ur feelin it.i
do need 2 say
now,however,that
u were the wise
one.I know that
now.and sure i was
good at the
practical stuff(any
sheep can do
that)but u kept
me(n drew)
emotionally alive.u
were highly
underrated 4
that.highly
underrated
fullstop.probly surrering
silently.anyway i
love u and miss u.
NRN

Sender:
Sarah Spaz
************
Sent:
11:24:33
09-11-2007

What is "NRN"?

ohfuck.me.

I wasn't equipped...un-expectant of flickering tummy feeling. I thought you'd smell good. But I was expecting to get fucked up again, I thrive on that shit. I'm floundering confounded by profound sweetness...

... Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I'd like to smash every tooth
In your head

Oh ... sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
When I said by rights you should be
Bludgeoned in your bed


And now I know how joan of arc felt
Now I know how joan of arc felt, oh
As the flames rose to her roman nose
And her walkman started to melt
Oh ...

tired running late no shower. lack of teleporter. garden party drink. get given bear power bracelet. pickup dvds from exboyfriend. return drink drink rain rail the greenest pill I've ever seen.Green tongue.Green snot. talk shit.talk music trade from champagne to caustic punch to whisky.j-pop lollipop candy bad girl tommyheavenly6.get given johnny hobo cd.get many hugs. dance in rain to doors. get soaked. gets light. get lift to caitlin's crash in drew's bed. get up shower awesome drink tea.borrow trousers and jacket. train station cigarette two hours later home...