J'ai une âme solitaire.

Sometimes things can happen just like that.
...a drop of whisky, a drop of ginger wine,
call it a Whisky-Mac and you can be mine...

A year in review;

cultivated addictions,
succumbed to prescribed dependency,
repeated mistakes,
followed old patterns,
kissed boys,
made friends,
ran from myself,
chased my tail.

I've filled so much of my time with frivolity, engineered distractions to keep busy, taken on the activities, interests and problems of others, treaded water just to keep afloat, recycled habits and taken up new and expensive vices. All so I'm not constantly tormented by my lack of knowledge in regards to the contents of my own soul. Steppenwolf. Using everything as a distraction; relationships with people. Romantic partners as a mirror mask to try to identify.
Resolution for 2008?
Transcendental meditation?

Armed to the teeth in preparation for the oncoming year;
blank book,
pencil,
tobacco, filters, papers,
whisky,
ginger wine,
pen-knife,
mobile phone,
wallet,
spare underwear,
keys,
head like a hole,

...it's just the same preparations I'd make for a night out...

I am twenty----four

This time my birth-day wasn't complete shit, it is with a mood of optimism that I prepare to embark upon the journey into another year...
w00t!

Pave, Adam-I, you are my heroes;

Ingamells: You see that guy over there?

Homewood: Which one?

Ingamells: Green shirt...

Homewood: Oh, the one with the totally played out style.

Ingamells: Yeah, word.

Alice in her party dress
She thanks you kindly
So serene
She needs you like she needs her tranqs
To tell her that the world is clean
To promise her a definition
Tell her where the rain will fall
Tell her where the sun shines bright
And tell her she can have it all
Today
Today

White dress, pink sash. Thinking the rain will hold out for a little while longer.
Nancy drew being returned to the video shop.
The rain breaks tropically over return and costume.
Alice Pleasance Liddell caught out, subjected to weather induced transparency.
But gosh, it feels nice, particularly once reaching the garden. The long grass makes a greeting with stockinged legs.

my friend josh, he's a hell of a guy;

Here's a picture of wesley snipes

he looks so shiny

I wonder what he uses

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.

The grass in our garden is almost waist-high in places, those places are my favourite. I am self-medicating; cup of tea
cigarette
bed
cigarette
bed
I formulate equations that my mind won't schism over; occupied=content...

I love the lush danger that our unmanicured lawn presents; exotic and dreamy.
People look at it and say "don't mow much, eh?"
wondering how we can stand to have nature taunting us with it's verdant virility,
or how I can be unconcerned with what people think of the state of our yard.

Mowing the lawn; what is that? Bizarre ritual.
Our miniature jungle in beautiful, if I was a house-cat I would go and pretend to be a tiger.

I get so lomesome when I'm gone

wine introspection and headphones.
Headphones are what's been missing from my equation lately; I'm too poverty stricken to buy batteries for my discman. I'm in a state. I've put off this introspection shit for too long. The measures I've been taking are hardly more effective, than a finger in the dyke (Not like that uncle pervy, piss off). I use stuff... and people too... to distract me, so I don't have to think more about myself than what's fairly obvious~surface shit. I hate all this facing-up crap, it really harshes my buzz. . .
...not that I had a buzz, more of a dull hum... I hate me, don't make me hang out with me. today I was inside dave, I loooked at a duck for ages...he was probably all: "What's up? / Take an effin' pitchar" but it did my soul good.

...I am paralised by the blood of christ, though it clouds my eyes I can never stop
never stop...

I'm in danger of spilling my wine all over these words, so I'm leave it for now, flesh it out later.
xo

personality crisis ~ you got it while it was hot...

...and I'm a million different people from one day to the next...