I used to be good at subtlety, nuances...all that shit you notice when people say things with their mouths and their faces say other stuff... I used to notice that...
then I started trusting...why would they say that if they didn't mean it? that's just silly. So now I've been stumbling around clumsy 'cause they leave the lights off, I'm not as good as I was at seeing in the dark and once my eyes get used to it, start adjusting to the gloomy gloom~ BANG! [FLOODLIGHTS] I AM angry at you, my brother hates you, I feel you done me wrong
sad sad sad song and my face fills up with heat and my eyes prickle, sting and brim and my collar is soaked from my internal flood erupting
I let them hurt me so they can feel better, I am a scapegoat again...I let it happen because I feel so small,
and an easy target ...for a bit i believe it all, i'm mutable, malleable, misrepresented...
munting, because I'm spent, my anger turns to understanding far to quickly and my adrenaline freezes to poison and my stomach turns and wants to empty itself.
But as destroyed as i feel today I am not sorry, I love to visit the flat bit at the bottom of my old hills and breath the air that smells like contentment and chaos
and see the people I miss
and hug and kiss all their brains
and punch fists and listen and laugh
and make plans and look forward to seeing them again...
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2 comments:
it seems people become jaded and poker faces are everywhere...
but at least we can still hug and kiss brains of the people we miss...
You're pretty sharp.
We should play texas holdem'...
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